We’ve heard so much recently about sexual assault by people in positions of power and finally – F I N A L L Y – they are being held accountable. And the men I adore – they are truly heroes – are those willing to come forward and say “I’m confused about what constitutes harassment. Help me understand.” The men who are asking questions, who are coming into awareness of what women go through, who are grappling with whether or not they have been a part of gender bias. Thank you. This is one of the places change happens. Sebastian Stan was on the Shane Show and #metoo was one of the topics covered. This is where we start to heal. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XFXDQPFdxj4
When I worked as a therapist, I would occasionally be assigned a client who had raped someone. Early on, I was shocked – absolutely shocked – to learn that most of the time they were genuinely confused. Most had committed statutory rape or date rape and while it was crystal clear to their victim what had happened, to them, the offender thought it was consensual. I had assumed rapists held the intention to assault. And it was a huge moment of enlightenment to me – the intention of one person can be completely different from the perception of another.
So what constitutes rape and how can we prevent it? I was recently interviewed by Kitty at Loving Without Boundaries http://lovingwithoutboundaries.com/ and we talked about consent. I think this is another place we start to make the change. Consent needs to be taught in schools – and taught very early on. Kids in pre-school should begin learning that they can refuse a hug or touch – and to respect that boundary, to ask – “Can I give you a hug?” As kids go through school, it should be part of health classes, life skills and should pervade the general atmosphere of the school.
Where else do you feel we can begin to plant seeds of change?