Dr. Newman, from my book, The Timeshare, doesn’t believe in integration. This is a hot topic among therapists. Some feel traumas must be remembered and integrated so that all alters come together. Trauma after trauma after trauma is remembered, felt fully and integrated. One of the problems with this is that if there was considerable abuse, therapy can go on for a very long time.
Another issue is that therapists are finding that some clients are coming back after integration with another layer of alters to integrate. Dr. Newman feels that it’s best to help his clients understand and optimize their system – thus bringing them into functionality quickly and keeping them there as much as possible.
Therapists used to believe that all skills would be retained after integration but learned that that’s not always true. And that can be devastating to clients. Imagine losing your ability to speak another language, play an instrument, ski or cook.
And so the goal for some therapists is to help clients become co-conscious and to make agreements on how to get along, how to resolve problems, how to work together. In co-consciousness, all of the alters are aware of what each is doing. And learning to work together allows systems to maintain relationships, hold down a job and remain healthy.
If you are living with DID, there are treatment options so explore the different approaches to treatment and find one that’s comfortable for you.
One of the books you might find helpful, in addition to The Timeshare, is a short book of exercises that can help multiples learn to work together. It’s a great addition to therapy. It’s called “Who Parked the Car?” by Ellyn Stevens. It’s available on Amazon.